Unloved In Iraq: George Bush Gets Jilted For Another Shiite

It seems that Americas only optimist in regard to Iraq is beginning to feel unloved by the people he hoped to bring freedom and democracy to, much like a distressed lover who has proffered a box of chocolates, only to find that the object of his affections is allergic to chocolate. Or, worse yet, that she prefers the mix of chocolates offered to her by a detested rival.

At a recent meeting with his war cabinet and a number of outside experts, Bush, The Broken-Hearted, actually found his rock solid optimism waver. He admitted that he is not only troubled by the lack of progress in Iraq but frustrated that the Iraqi government and people havent show more support for Americas mission there.

And the regrets just keep coming his way. Another record number of exploded Iraqis this week, perpetrated, as usual, by insurgents incensed at our attempt to rescue the country from Sunni tyranny and render it a Shiite bedlam, the nagging anti-American demonstration that Mugtada al-Sadr orchestrated in his neighborhood, the new Iraqi President parting with the US over whose side to be on in Israels war against Hezbollah, and, in recent photos from Baghdad, enormously painful portraits of Hassan Nasrallah disgracing its buildings.

Yet the question hangs. Is his finally voiced distress a first indication that he will finally moderate his impractical goals there or just a lull in his blowhard defense of them?

The trouble with withdrawal is, of course, up pops the super Shiite al-Sadr to tie the diplomatic knot with Iran. Then Bush will have to witness, not only lost love, but the object of his amorous hopes marrying his despised rival.

But, after all, what else could be expected? The Shiites of Iraq do have a great deal more in common with the Shiites of Iran, such as their mutually adored medieval faith in a not altogether blameless religion.

While it must be hard for hopeful George to reconcile himself to the shish kabob on which the Iraqis have skewered his affections, it must be a bitter pill of far more effect to know that he is being spurned for love of a loathed rival.

(See this weeks Shreditorial for the third answer in Iraq: not staying or leaving, but staying without dying anymore.)

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."

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