Iranian Woman Is First Female Space Tourist; Agrees To Wear Spacesuit

Just when we thought all Iranian women were contentedly hiding behind their veils, what do we read but one not only made it to America but just made it into space?

The daring and successful Anousheh Ansari, who grew up in Iran dreaming, not of memorizing the Koran as a safe substitute for original thought, but of space, has become the first female space tourist.

She blasted off from Kazakhstan in a Soyuz rocket with astronaut Michael Lopez-Alegria of NASA and cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin of Russia.

Ever since I can remember, she said, it has been in my soul and in my heart. Ive always been interested in and fascinated by space.

How did she do it?

Ansari left Iran, where she was born in 1966, with her sagacious parents, shortly after the grim Islamic revolution. Once here, she studied electronics and data processing, got her American citizenship, and went on to graduate from George Mason University in Virginia and George Washington University in DC.

She learned well and filed patents in telecommunications. She convinced her husband to leave the comforts of corporate corridors and set up their own venture in 1993. The telecommunications company they started grew and had 250 employees, when the Ansaris sold it in 2000. Which helps explain how the lass could come up with the $25-million for the ticket to history.

But theres more. Her family, apparently widely successful, has invested in technology, including space exploration, to which they gave $10 million to a foundation that encourages advances in space flight.

The venturesome Iranian woman is also studying for a diploma in astronomy.

I hope that not only my flights, but the life I have lived so far, become an inspiration for all youth all over the world, especially women and girls around the world to pursue their dreams, she said. It may seem very hard… but looking at my background they can see that sometimes the impossible can be possible and dreams can come true.

As a fillip to diplomatic amity, earlier in the year she displayed the flags of Iran and the United States on her spacesuit. I felt that by wearing the two badges I can demonstrate that both countries had something to do with making me the person who I am today, she said.

May she be an inspiration to many in her homeland.

She certainly qualifies as one in a world weary of hearing just how far along the radical road to earthbound conduct Iran has trod.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience” and “good, genuine laughs.”

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A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet:

1. You cant find your bike helmet.

2. You lost your Darth Vader mask on the opening day of a Star Wars movie. A welding helmet is a good substitute; however, you will have to mimic the Darth Vader breathing noises yourself.

3. You do not know your science very well but you think it would be cool to make your own fireworks.

4. You are scared of identity theft.

5. You wear a welding helmet in hopes of attracting women, making it clear to them that you are manly and can fix things.

6. You want to reenact the opening credits from The Simpsons and you are playing the part of Homer in the nuclear power plant (in this case, you will also need a glow stick).

7. You think that cartoons are real and there is a possibility of an anvil dropping from the sky.

8. If people who look at you turn into stone then you might want to wear a welding helmet.

9. You want to give your kids a punishment they wont forget and decide to make them wear the welding helmet to school for a week.

10. If you are scared of the sun giving you wrinkles or skin cancer, you could use a welding helmet to protect yourself from the suns harmful rays.

11. You have horrendously bad breath and/or forgot to put you makeup on.

12. You cant find your sunglasses.

13. You are someone who always wants to be on top of fashion and thinks that welding helmets could be the new thing.

14. You are sick of relatives pinching your cheeks at family reunions.

15. You are a celebrity and you dont want the paparazzi taking any pictures of you.

16. You are sick of shallow people falling for you because of your looks and want people to like you for your witty humor.
Wearing a welding helmet would definitely be a way to see if that special someone likes you because of your personality.

17. You think that the end of the world is near and somehow a welding helmet will save you.

18. You want people to think that you are weird, have learning problems, or that you are half man and half machine.

19. You want to do your own rendition of Phantom of the Opera called Phantom of the Tool Shed.

20. You think that your partner in your science lab class secretly wants to destroy you.

21. You had an extremely bad haircut.

22. You think you are like Cyclops from X-Men and you have uncontrollable optic blasts from your eyes.

23. You want to scare little children. (Carrying a blow torch and laughing will also help you in this goal).

24. You dont ever want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

25. And I guess you might possibly want a welding helmet if you think you will possibly be welding something anytime soon.

These are just a few of the reasons that it is probably a good idea for you to wear a welding helmet. After you get your own welding helmet, I am sure that you will find this list to be very limited and you will find thousands of other uses for it.

Kaitlin Carruth is a client account specialist with 10x Marketing - More Visitors. More Buyers. More Revenue. For more information about welding helmets, please visit Tool America.

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I realize Im in a bit of a conundrum. Im writing about people who arent (or dont want to be) on computers, on a computer. What Im hoping is, that all of those computer literate people out there, who recognize someone in their lives in this story, will copy it off, and pass it along to them.

First of all, I have a confession. I hereby admit that up until about three years ago, I was TOTALLY against computers. I didnt need them, didnt want them in my life, and fought off all attempts by those around me to at least try it. (I had to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century!)

I grew up in the last generation that learned how to do things without computers. I learned engineering the old fashioned way. With a drawing pad, a few triangles, and my trusty Pentel, I could design anything. Why would I need their fancy way of coming up with the same solution? I had already mastered the other way of doing things, and I was quite content to leave it that way.

I associated computers with my old nemesis, the typewriter! I HATED typewriters with a passion. It all stemmed from an incident with my father when I was a teenager.

I had been trying to figure out what classes I wanted to take in summer school, when my father suggested that I take a typing class. He reasoned that I would need it, to be able to get a job in an office later on, and support myself. Now I, on the other hand, saw that as a implication that I would be someones secretary, instead of someone who HAD a secretary. (Keep in mind this was the late 60s, and the Womens Rights movement was in its infancy.)

Looking back I realize Dad was being practical, but I was being indignant (as most teenagers are wont to do), and took a firm stand on my objection. Now, he was usually pretty laid back about most things, but this was one of the few times my father and I really had a heated argument. Of course I lost, and subsequently ended up spending the summer learning how to type.

Our high school had been built in the boom years after the war, and air conditioning back then, meant opening a window. Later, they had to retrofit air conditioning into the buildings, one by one, in the 60s.

Our typing class was held in West Hall, the last building without any air conditioning. Since humidity & Summer in St. Louis are synonymous, we knew that it would be a sweltering 1 hrs. spent each day, sticking to the timeworn wooden desk seats in the old building. (You literally had to peal your leg off the seat at the end of class.)

Our teacher Mrs. White, was about three days older than dirt, and had been teaching typing since before WWII. (She had it down to a science.) The first week, we were taught the basic positions of all the letters. Our old manual typewriters had no letters printed on the keys, so we were forced to immediately memorize them. (It taught you look at your text, instead of looking at the keyboard.)

Then, by the second week, it just became a repetitive exercise in practicing typing. She had been teaching this so long, that she knew exactly how much work to give us, to keep us busy for an hour and a half. After the bell rang in the morning (having already put the assignment on the board), she would sit down behind her old wooden desk, then set a little white plastic kitchen timer for an hour and 25 minutes, and proceed to take a nap. (I often marveled that she could sleep through the din created by the constant pecking of the 20+ typewriters.) When the bell went off, we all passed our papers to the front, and left. It was definitely a long, hot, boring summer, and I vowed that I would never take a job that required me to type!

Imagine my chagrin, when years later I realized my Dad had been proven right. He may have had different reasons, but history and technology connived to help prove his basic instinct correct. (I can almost see his tickled grin, at my admonition.)

Dad never told me that I couldnt do anything I really wanted to do, he just believed in being prepared for whatever life threw at you. This, from a man who had witnessed the aeronautical industry go from one-seater airplanes, to moon landings. (He used to work for Eddie Rickenbacker during WWII, for heavens sake.)

He knew that his job as a father, was to open my mind to any and every new idea out there. Im sure he was anticipating the wonders that my generation would be privy to, and wanted me to be able to handle it all with grace and curiosity, instead of dread and fear.

So now, I find myself sitting here in front of a typewriter of sorts, and Im determined to face this brave new web world, with the knowledge that my Dad is out there somewhere happily rooting me on. Thanks Dad, and my typing is getting better all the time!

About The Author:

B. MacNichol is the award winning, premier poet of the frameable greeting card line - N OTHER WORDS , whose background includes Senior Engineering, Master Drafting, Journeyman Blacksmithing, and Farriery (horseshoeing). While spending her formative years in Missouri, she currently resides in the mountains of North Georgia, and is pursuing a professional writing career. To view additional samples of her work, please link to http://www.notherwords.com

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Yet there are those who wish us ill and harm, but for what some bizarre version of so-called peaceful religion? We must kill the infidels! Oh really and why is this because having been labeled an infidel by a murderous group of radical International Terrorists, I wonder, what did I do wrong anyway and who pissed in their cornflakes this morning to hate me so much? Lets face it; it appears it is going to be another hundred more years until these humans wake up and understand the rest of the world.

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George Bush Psychotic Legacy Fears Drive Him to Nuke Iran

The very first commander at West Point was Benedict Arnold. The most famous pig ever was Arnold Ziffel. Arnold Ziffel appeared on the television show Green Acres starring Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor, the sister of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Who names their child Zsa Zsa Gabor? On the show Green Acres, the childless neighbors of Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor, Fred and Doris Ziffel adopted a pig Arnold Ziffel who could understand English and loved to watch television, especially Westerns as their son. Arnold Ziffel was drafted into the army and became the first pig in history to graduate from West Point. The first thing that they teach you at West Point is that the most effective technique of war is the element of surprise. The worst kept secret in the history of warfare is that George Bush is about to nuke the Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Ali Khamenei back to the stone ages.

Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck M.D. wrote a book about evil people called People of the Lie. The number one trait of evil people is that they are pathological liars. They are consumed with fear. The most important thing to them is what other people think about them. Unfortunately the television stations have conflicts of interest otherwise when George Bush spoke at a press conference you would see a dunce cap superimposed on his head with these words scrolling along the bottom: Bull Feces, Bull Feces, More Baloney, Liar, Who would believe this? Imbecile, Oh right, Im sure, Get serious, Dickweed. Psychiatrist M.Scott Peck M.D. says that the lies of evil people are endless and obvious. The latest lie being sung by George Bush and his choir of sycophants is I have absolutely no intention of invading Iran. Even Arnold Ziffel recognizes that this is an absolute lie.

If the approval rating of George Bush sank any lower he would make Richard Nixon look like Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa made a guest appearance on the sister show of Green Acres, Petticoat Junction as a waitress. Right before her death Mother Teresa had an exorcism performed upon her. In his book Glimpses of the Devil Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck M.D. recounts two exorcisms which he performed and videotaped. If Mother Teresa needed an exorcism then how many exorcisms does George Bush require? Perhaps he can fit one in after his weekly walking posture therapy.

Presidents hope to leave office with a fabulous reputation like Abraham Lincoln, George Washinton and Thomas Jefferson so that libraries, aircraft carriers steaming towards the Persian Gulf, streets and schools will be named after them. After bribing SMU to be the site of the George W. Bush library when the other applicants ran for their lives, the choice of SMU has caused an open rebellion among the faculty and staff at SMU. Who would want their library named after a President who invaded Iraq based on deliberate lies, cost the United States of America 3,100 of the best and the brightest young men and women so far, 22,453 of their limbs, 700,000 dead innocent civilian Iraqi men, women and children, plunged the United States into bankruptcy and cost America her reputation and friendships around the world? George Bush knows all of this and this is the reason that he is now about to throw a Hail Mary pass at Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

The corporate media once again is leading the charge by reporting endlessly the unsubstantiated charge that Shia Iran supplied two hand grenades to their brother Shia fighters in Iraq. George Bush is now putting the final touches on his copycat plan to achieve everlasting glory. A legacy can last for 2,500 years and then crumble into the dirt overnight. Until now everyone thought that Cleopatra the Queen of the Nile was the most magnificent beauty of all time, a young Elizabeth Taylor. That illusion bit the dust yesterday with the discovery by the University of Newscastle of the Cleopatra Mark Antony coin portraying the real Cleopatra as Ugly Betty. If ever a woman was more in need of a nose job. Do the words long protruding sharp beak ring a bell? Michael Jackson who has no nose has a better nose. As Jesus said, If thy nose offends thee cut it off for it would be better for you than to be cast into Hell with Jennifer Anistons perfect nose.

Everyone on earth knows that George Bush is about to copy Menachem Wolfovich Begin who won the Nobel Peace Prize for bombing the Iraqi nuclear reactor at Osirak in 1981. At the time the whole world condemned Menachem Begin including the United States and the United Nations passed a unanimous resolution condemning the attack. George Bush is a follower of the Begin doctrine that no country shall be allowed to develop weapons of mass destruction against the people of Israel or the United States of America. In a recent poll Menachem Begin was voted the Prime Minister most missed by the Israeli people.

President Bush was told by the United Nations weapons inspectors including U.S. Marine analyst and U.N. weapons inspector Scott Ritter in 2002 that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction but he invaded Iraq just in case they were wrong. Now George Bush is being told that Iran has no weapons of mass destruction and is at least two to ten years away from obtaining a nuclear bomb even if they wanted one, which Iran insists that it does not. This means nothing to George Bush. All demons care about is what other people think of them especially after they are gone, and like Jesus we are talking about a son trying to climb out from underneath the shadow of his father.

Deep psychological issues are now leading us all into the Apocalypse, which President Bush and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei both believe is the roadmap to everlasting world peace because they read it in a book. What they did not read is that this book of Revelations fairy tale is a plagiarism of the Greek Myth of Prince Bellerophon and his flying horse Pegasus defeating the Chimera, a monster with a snakes tale, a goats body, and a lions head, the Beast of Revelations plagiarized by John from the Greek Myth of Pegasus. Its hard to believe that a plagiarized Greek myth is leading us all into the Hellish fires of Nuclear World War 3 against the allies of Iran, China and Russia who backed tiny North Vietnam to defeat the United States, but if pigs can graduate from West Point then burning alive can be an ecstatic rapture. If only the doctors had not used LSD to cure the alcoholic Presidents addiction to Jack Daniels, perhaps maybe now he wouldnt be flashbacking us all into extinction along with the polar bears now forced to eat their children. If George Bush knew what God does to warmongers and war profiteers in the afterlife he would have every American soldier home by tonight but soon he will see for himself. There will be no secret service agents to protect him from the wrath of the Lord, the Prince of Peace.

Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles California.
The Temple of Love http://www.thetempleoflove.com/

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The usual cynics choice is to ask, what would you rather have, fame without power or power without fame? Yet even a cursory look at contemporary society reveals that celebrities have managed to devise a third choice: fame with power.

There is no shortage of for instances. Take Ronald Regan, who went from fame in Hollywood to power in Washington. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has so far gone from fame in Hollywood to power in Sacramento, with his eyes on DC, if his advocates can only get the constitution amended so that a born Austrian can run like a born American. Given the proportion of immigrants who now inhabit the land, the likelihood of Presidential power for the Terminator is hardly out of the question.

Of course, there are also lesser and more numerous instances of the celebritys ability to combine fame with power. How about Mel Gibson, arrested for DWI and a month later we noticed that the arresting officer was being investigated?

Or Barbra Streisand telling a fan to shut up with a word that is not usually accepted in public discourse and then blithely continuing her tour. What if a relatively powerless person like a Senator, say, John Kerry had said the F word, as in getting stuck in f-ing Iraq? The man would have been sent beyond temporary oblivion and been made to resign from the Senate.

Finally, we have Paul McCartney, who, though embroiled in a divorce where his bride is accusing him of abuse, was able to attend the premier of a new classical piece he managed to compose at The Albert Hall.

The time has obviously come when cynics should adjust their choices.

It seems that the only people who are in a real pickle are the ones in the unnamed group those without fame or power. Well, that seems to include most of us. But what would all the celebrities do without us to play to? No audience, no performance.

So we come full circle, not as cynics but as optimists. Sure, there are the secretive few who have power without fame. But most people, who seem on the surface to be distinguished by neither fame nor power, may actually possess the most power, at least, over that uniquely famous and powerful group we refer to as celebrities.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “good, genuine laughs” and “great humor and ebullience.”

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Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels. Just think you can watch Paris the skinny blonde babe on your infomercial in room TV ad for a Starbucks, run down to the lobby to and buy a fattening Frappachino.

Imagine the benefits of having Starbucks in your room? Sounds good and while you are on vacation who cares if you get fat and look like crap in our bathing suit by the pool. Chances are Paris Hilton will not be there anyway, she will be in Paris getting married to a different Paris? If all this is just getting too darn confusing for you, do not worry about it. But realize your Starbucks Card will not work in Hilton Hotels but they do take American Express?

Starbucks will be continually adding world wide partners to promote their brand and are big on entering the Chinese Market by way of franchising or license branding with Chinese Partners. Just think all those skinny Chinese people who now smoke two packs of day of US Cigarettes will be able to get nice and plumb on over priced frappachinos. Isnt that wonderful. The only problem I see is will 1.2 Billion Chinese people run out of space in their country? And will they be able to squeeze them all into the Jet Liners when they come to America to sell their wares. Or will the A-380 be ready for much bigger seats for all these newly rich, cancer ridden, over weight, Charlie Chocolate Factory rolly polly Chinese?

Think on Globalization, ya gotta love it.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is a guest writer for Our Spokane Magazine in Spokane, Washington

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Hard Cash Highs

When the ATM machine spills out the crisp nice-smelling brand new notes I take a subconscious pledge never to part with them. I would not even want to half-fold to accommodate them in my pocket or in my purse. It really pains to part with themeven for petty expenses like bus fares. A prized possession that Id like to keep forever.

With my checkbook I feel like a benevolent paymaster; and, the Boss. I write out the checks with immense pleasure and pride. I sign off with a flourish taking in its power to satisfy all the concerned parties. Its a pleasure every inch of the way. This is despite the fact that all those checks are bound to make indelible dents on my own accounted hard cash.

With my credit cards I feel like the Almighty. Its a privilege all the wayfrom taking out the piece of plastic, displaying it, swiping it, signing the charge slip and putting the magnificent artifact safely back. No matter how big or how small are the transactions. This is despite the fact that all those transactions are bound to make further indelible dents on my own accounted hard cash.

With my friends on equal contribution parties, I feel the pinch to give out my share in hard cash. I make a deal with them. Ill pay the full bill in plastic and all the members will pay me their contributions in hard cash. I get the biggest kick by making an earning instead of paying out my mandatory contribution. This is despite the fact that the big party is bound to make further indelible dents on my own accounted hard cash.

My possessive passion for hard cash is unmitigated; insatiable; unfathomable; and somewhat uncontrollable.

I keep on wondering why.

***

Chinmay Chakravarty is a professional specialized in the creative field with over two decades of experience in journalistic writing, media co-ordination, film script writing, film dubbing, film & video making, management of international film festivals and editing of books & journals. Started career with a stint as a freelance journalist and then joined Indian Information Service. Now serving as a News Editor in Doordarshan, the national media channel of Govt. of India.

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Re-incarnation is Real

Lets face it reincarnation is a very interesting concept indeed. I was recently talking with a gentleman about how Re-incarnation is an interesting belief and he explained the Hindus belief and how everything works and what happens to us when we die. Another gentleman who was listening to our conversation at the coffee shop kept making faces as he listened to our talk. After the Hindu Scholar left he said to me;

Indeed and I suppose some one who is the creator, protector and the destroyer would make a good steak at that.

Of course he was referring to the re-incarnation into a cow once one got into their next life. His statement was derogatory in nature and so I merely listened, because it is always good to get a second opinion and maybe although this gentleman appeared to be a cynic he did have a bit of confidence and a touch of arrogance to him, as if he knew the truth or at least his very compelling version of the said truth. So I let him go on and he stated:

But the way I heard it was one of those cows that came back, was used in an Alien Being Experiment and it got crossed with a barbed wire fence and it was utter destruction. The other cow jumped over the moon you know what happened in that story and the rest of the herd were rounded up by Australian Shepard Dogs and were mutilated by the aliens, which live under the coalmines in WV.

Now I felt like I had been had by this mans very bad joke and totally inappropriate and not very politically correct attack on the Hindu Religion and I was about to get up and walk away, except he wasnt laughing, he was not smiling and it appeared he actually believed all this. So, I thought, well why not challenge him on this bizarre comment? So, I asked him; Oh really and how do you know this? And he said:

Now I was told this in a building once with some symbols in it and they had a book too, which accompanied the story, I think they called it a screenplay and those symbols well I think they represented Dolbi Sound Corporate Logo.

Unfortunately I fell for his comments, but was curious all along what kind of a man could tell a story that with a straight face? Without laughing at all. He said he use to work for the CIA, but now he is a priest in the Catholic Church. Which made perfect sense to me.

The fine Gentleman then invited me to come to the Church and pay my tithing and repent for my sins. He said it would help me immensely and be a load of my mind. I said really? He said Oh yes, I do it each week! Interesting, I thought so thats how they do it. Think on this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is a guest writer for Our Spokane Magazine in Spokane, Washington

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The Hidden Driveway

I wont lie: there are a lot of things I want in life, and some of them Id even pay for. Rather than listing them in some aimless order so that I can feel bad about not having these things, I will instead focus on one thing that is actually attainable: a hidden driveway…

Ive wanted a hidden driveway for as long as I can remember, which is sometime between yesterday and tomorrow. I was driving on a busy road when I saw the sign to my right that denoted the hidden driveway existed while implying I should be careful of it. And I was because who am I not to follow a sign, especially when it pertains to something hidden?

Many would consider hidden driveways to be dangerous because a person who backs out of such a location may be hit by oncoming traffic or even outgoing traffic, or even a wandering turtle with a jetpack. Sure, there are rearview and side mirrors, but those with hidden driveways are rebels, and rebels dont use mirrors except to adjust their ski masks and glow-in-the-dark sunglasses…

One may now be wondering why I would want a hidden driveway if they are indeed so dangerous. To begin, it would help to cut down random visits from people I dont want to see. I could even be extra nice to these people, inviting them over for the best cheesecake this side of Mouseville. But then, alas, theyd never find my driveway. Thus, Id be known as a nice person who “unfortunately” lives at a location that is hard to find. This would also elevate the reputation of the cheesecake…

The better reason for wanting a hidden driveway, though, is that it would make me seem like a secret agent every time I leave for work, head for the local convenient store, or even move the car so that there is more room to play horseshoes. To add to the mystique of my persona, I would leave the driveway only when it is dark outside, or when everyone else is at some local festival that I skipped because of how hidden I am. Eventually, after a couple of years of keeping up this routine, I would not even need a car because no one would be able to see it anyway, which contradicts the reason for having one. Rather, I would walk everywhere that is within walking distance and everything else I would have delivered…

Such would be the life of a person with a hidden driveway. If you have one, please invite me over sometime soon so I can practice backing out of one…

But I digress.

Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, “Progressive Revelations,” has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.ProgressiveRevelations.com)

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